7 Reasons I could Never Deny My Child

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I know that women don’t typically even have the option of denying their kids. It’s hard to say “that baby don’t look like me” when your uterus played factory to it for 10 months (yes 10, give us full credit for all time served). But let’s pretend that in some alternate universe children were birthed by their fathers; there would still be absolutely, positively no possibility that even the most gullible person on this earth would believe that Essie is not my child. Here are 7 reasons why:

Artboard 21. She is my twin. And I don’t mean that she simply favors me – she is almost creepily my spitting image. You know how most mothers are known to cry tears of joy the first time they see their child? I was too freaked by the fact that my vagina had just popped out my clone to process any emotion. Look for yourself.

 

2. Her favorite outfit is her birthday suit. It’s not the trait that I necessarily want to share with my child. I mean no parent wants their daughter parading around naked. Nonetheless, if you ever choose to show up to my house unannounced, odds are that you will find my daughter bare assed in her favorite mint green sandals. I may try to blame it on the fact that we’re potty training, but the truth is she loves being naked just as much as I do. But really, who wants to wear pants at home?

3. She speaks (or mostly babbles) her mind. My child is never afraid to let you know how she feels and she never sugar coats it. This may be something that we both need to work on. A good poker face just isn’t in our DNA. The first time that I came to this realization we were in the restroom at the grocery store waiting on my sister when an older lady came out of a stall and started fawning over Essie. By this time she was at least 7 months old and I was used to the extra attention, so it wasn’t a problem for me. The problem was that instead of chatting while she washed her hands, or coming over after doing so, she went straight towards our cart reaching out for my daughter. I didn’t even have the chance to politely ask her to wash her hands because the level of disgust was written very clearly all over Essie’s face. She babbled what I am sure was the baby equivalent of “Oh helllllll no”, shook her head, and the poor woman backed off. I can’t say that I wasn’t overjoyed to see my daughter stand her ground.

4. She’s super sassy. If you didn’t get this from the above anecdote, Essie has a very expressive attitude. When I’m not completely dumbfounded by the fact that I’m almost positive my toddler just cursed me out, or laughing my ass off because she has entered a full fledged debate with my husband over changing the TV channel, this sass is what gets her into the most trouble. Why? Because she expresses herself with the facial expressions that she inherited from me. Not to sound like my own mother, but I invented that look. I know what she’s thinking, and that kind of language is not appropriate for children.

5. She’s absolutely gorgeous and she knows it. Put this girl in a dress and she will stare in the mirror twirling and posing. Do her hair, she’ll whip it like Willow. Scold her for anything, and she’ll smile and bat her lashes until you cave. Hold your camera up, she’ll strut and blow you kisses. Confidence is definitely not something she’s lacking. I pray to God that this never changes.

Artboard 36. She’s shamelessly silly. If you should so happen to run into us while we’re out and about you will most likely find us dancing, remixing nursery rhymes, and proudly singing off key. She barely says 20 words, yet knows how to speak in a British accent (‘ello love). If her song comes on, she’ll be the first one to dance – and if you stop to stare she’ll be sure to take your hand and make you join. She’s all the way live, all of the time, and she get’s it from her mama.

7. She’s got a huge heart. I’m sure it’s even bigger than mine. If she sees that you’re sad, she’ll pat you on the back and give you a hug. She might even cry with you in solidarity. My sweet baby won’t even eat meat, as if she can somehow feel that it’s heart once beat too. If she see’s any kind of animal, she will run up to it just to say hi and pet it. I even caught her trying to talk to a palmetto bug that got into the house one day. It was the most disgustingly adorable thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

My daughter is like me in so many ways, I’m sure we’ll but heads in the future. But right now, she simply amazes me. What are some ways that your kids remind you of yourself? Share them with me on Facebook.

 

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2 thoughts on “7 Reasons I could Never Deny My Child

  1. Wow this reminds me so much of my daughter and I. She’s 11 now but when she was little she was such a mini me. Now she’s more of a me sized me and it’s even creepier, because people who have known me since I was a teenager swear to god I am trying to pull one over on them putting up a picture of myself and saying it’s her 🙂 It’s both cool and scary as they grow up!! ❤

    Like

Don't be my toddler. Talk to me. Coherently.

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